Letting your fingers do the walking can be frustrating

Welcome to the real world of the unemployed. In the light of our present economy and what is happening to so many of our friends and neighbors, I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined it could be so complicated, as well as frustrating.

When I was laid off at the paper, I took the time to take care of my mother and due to the generosity of Swift Publications, I had the time to do just that. Now Mom has returned to her home as of last Saturday and this has left me the freedom to look for another job. In the interim between severance benefits and finding new employment, I have tackled the daunting task of dealing with unemployment benefits.

When I was first laid off, per the advice of several people, I contacted the unemployment office right away. How one phone call could become an odyssey in search of patience I will never know, but trust me, it surely did.

First, I called the only phone number I had in the paper work I was given which happen to be a phone number for Jobconnect, not the unemployment office. After an uncountable amount of time on hold and a million recorded messages later - Eureka, a human voice. It took about a minute's worth of conversation to be told they couldn't do anything for me until I was able to apply for unemployment, but at least she gave me a phone number to call and she was very pleasant about it.

In calling the new number (cell phones are not advised for this operation), I got very well acquainted with the calculator usage of a telephone. Push 1 for English...enter your eight digit social security number, your birth date, but make sure you put a zero in front of single digits or all that will be wrong, push one for this and two for that and then prepare for the wait of a lifetime. After an hour and a half on hold, I am not exaggerating, I had time to fix lunch for everyone, pace the floor, pull some weeds in the back yard, feed the cat and fold some laundry, all while switching ears to keep them from falling asleep and alleviate the crook I was getting in my neck from balancing the phone on my shoulder.

Finally, a human voice! His name was John, a very nice man, who explained to me that I couldn't apply for unemployment until I had reached the end of the benefits received from my employer. So, his advice was to go to the Web site and fill out the 40 questions that needed to be answered the day before my benefits ran out and then I needed to call...again.

It all sounded so simple. I got up early and tackled the Web site, following what seemed to be a simple process but, somewhere in the process, I must have made a mistake and just as I was nearing the finish line of aggravation, it wouldn't let me go any further. Giving up in despair, I decided to go through the process on the phone the next day but not before taking the time to fill out a survey about the Internet service to which I made a sarcastic commentary about not being able to go back and correct a mistake. Maybe my phone experience would be better and there would be a person to help me through it.

I woke early the next morning, dialing the phone at 8 a.m. hoping to be one of the first in the phone line. Twenty-seven people were quicker on the dial than I was. I had time to make the bed, brush my teeth, do my hair and put the laundry in the basket before I again had a person on the line. While I was waiting on hold to the unemployment office on the house phone I did get a call on my cell phone in response to my sarcasm concerning the Internet questionnaire. That was prompt. Now I had a phone attached to both ears.

Then I had a real person on the line from the unemployment office.

"Oh, you can do the same thing on the phone that you did on line, let me transfer you," the voice said to me as I was still trying to say, "but, but, but, I had a problem and I need to correct it and I don't know what I did wrong."

Too late, I was already transferred. So, I re-answered 40 questions by the calculator method on the phone pad. After all that and a few questions, finally from a real person, I got it right and got it done.

I fully understand that all this modern technology has been put in place to supposedly make life easier for us. I also fully understand that it has taken the place of having to stand in endless lines in a stuffy office to be able to interact with a very cranky and tired person. I also fully understand why some people go totally postal and want to explode. At least I got lunches fixed and beds made while I was waiting to get something else accomplished, but I have to say one thing: Technology will never replace the comfort and interaction with another human being when it comes to the confusion and unknown circumstances of something I have never had to do before. May my patience and that of many more like me, keep on keepin' on.

-- Don't forget the Jackie Giorgi Scholarship Benefit Cow Pasture Golf Tournament that will take place in the Antelope Valley on April 5. It is a wonderful event that provides needed funds to deserving graduates of Coleville High School. Located on the Giorgi Ranch, one mile down Topaz Lane in the valley. Sign-ups at 8 a.m., tee time at 9 a.m. followed by a great lunch of barbecued ribs with all the fixin's, raffles and prizes. Cost is $25 for the entire event or $12 for just the lunch. All the money goes to a great cause.

-- Jonni Hill can be reached at JHILL47@aol.com.