Hail to the Chief

Editor:

The other day I heard a chap state on the radio that Obama was the smartest president ever. Since he could not quantify the reason (IQ or anything else) for his statement, I dismissed it as post-election euphoria.

Now looking at recent developments, I have decided that perhaps that fellow was truly very insightful.

Not only has Obama been serving as our Chief Executive in these very trying times, but he has proven to be the stimulus in the collection of hundreds of thousands of dollars of past due taxes and even some of the penalties (Geithner and Daschle).

I am delighted to witness that he has followed up on his initial successes and continued to nominate tax dodgers. Perhaps during the final days of his selection process he could find a couple of spots for a few equally-deserving citizens. We all know our Treasury needs more money and further this can be accomplished without raising your taxes or mine.

I have always wondered why so many leading Democrats champion raising taxes when so many are so very rich. Now our President has found an opportunity to address my dilemma. The Democrats never intended to pay their own taxes so why not vote a tax hike for us peasants. Thank you Mr. President for providing this insight, I am no longer confused.

Bill Clinton taught me that my education was a failure when I came to be a able to understand such superficially simple ideas as what sex "is."

Now our new Chief has taught me that I truly did not understand the meaning of zero. I had been lead to believe it was number between -1 and +1. Our President has shown me that it is really a number much nearer to 9,000 (pieces of "pork"). I guess my previous teachers really short changed me. Where can I apply for a refund?