Column: Latest version of some intriguing mysteries of life

From time to time, I like to share with the readers of my weekly "Outdoor Page" a number of personal thoughts entitled "I Wonder Why."

It's now time for my latest version of some of the more intriguing mysteries of life, as seen through the somewhat quizzical or critical eyes of Little Donnie Q.

And some of them have absolutely nothing to do with the outdoors.

So, here goes. I Wonder Why:

-- Trout will strike at odd-looking lures, when there is nothing in the water that even comes close to resembling that particular lure. What in the heck in the water looks like a Super Duper lure? Geez, I'm almost afraid to ask.

-- A trout can strike more than once at one of my Rapala, Kwikfish or Flatfish lures, which have multiple sets of treble hooks, and not get caught. If my clothing comes anywhere close to one of those lures, it instantly gets hooked. What the heck is the difference?

-- Boaters always seem to troll as close as possible to a lake's shoreline and shore fishermen always try to cast as far out into the lake as possible. Maybe, they should switch positions or fish at separate lakes!.

-- Topaz Lake is closed three months of the year? It was done so at the request of a NDOW fisheries biologist, who has been dead for many years. It was his personal opinion that the lake needed a period of rest each year. Why does NDOW continue to treat Topaz differently than all other lakes in this area?

-- Some fishermen question why I refuse to publish a photo of them that consists of them standing barefooted, with no shirt, big gut hanging over their pants and a cigarette dangling out of their mouth, while holding a wimpy fish with blood running down its side. Hellooooo!

-- Land management agencies such as the U.S. Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management use the phrase "Controlled Burns." Many of those controlled burns flare up and become huge, uncontrolled burns of public lands. Geez, why don't they call them "Teen Ager Burns." Many of them are also hard to control.

-- We never hear or read about employees of those land management agencies being punished who are responsible for those "Controlled Burns" that get out of control. If you or I started a huge fire that got out of control, we would be the top news story of the day. You can bet on that.

-- Some government agencies feel the need to eliminate other species of fish in waters in which they want to re-introduce the "threatened" Lahontan cutthroat trout. How can the Lahontan cutthroat trout be threatened when I can catch and keep five of them every day of the year at Walker Lake? And would they also try to eliminate the threatened Bull Trout in the Jarbidge area of Elko County if they wanted to plant cutthroat there? That is an intriguing thought!

-- Those people who complain the most about the lack of hunting and fishing information on my Outdoor Page are the very same people who never report on any of their hunting and fishing activities? I can't report what I don't know.

-- Some people attempt to cheat when competing in hunting or fishing derbies that offer nice prizes? Greed for the "Almighty Dollar" can be very ugly. They should be harshly punished and publicly exposed when apprehended. And if convicted, they should lose all fishing and hunting privileges in all 50 states for life!

-- A few, narrow-minded people try to always be "Politically Correct," but then turn around and ridicule others for their appearance or age or who have different political affiliations, wear different clothes, have different tastes in music, food and drinks, have different social beliefs, etc. Hmmm, I wonder if the word "Bigot" is in their dictionary?

-- Some readers quickly point out any errors contained on the "Outdoor Page," but never, never say "Hey Q, nice job and well done!" on those articles that do not contain errors. Hey, come on, fair is fair!

-- The clerks at express lanes at the local supermarkets never challenge anyone with more than the maximum number of items allowed. Those stores should have a checkout lane reserved for only those idiots who flunked "Math 101."

-- So many patients are expected to wait for over an hour in a doctor's waiting room for their scheduled appointments. How would you like to have whoever does that "Mickey Mouse" scheduling try to schedule airline flights in and out of LAX or SFO. Wow! That could be exciting!

-- When someone is driving slow in the fast lane of a multi-lane facility in a Buick, Cadillac or Lincoln, it is invariably an elderly driver, completely oblivious to all the other traffic passing on the right. Hellooooo!

-- When someone, driving on Division Street, slows down at each and every, miserable intersection, it is also invariably an elderly driver, completely oblivious to the traffic stacking up behind their vehicle. Wow, could it be the same drivers!

-- So many male bicycle riders have beards or mustaches. Take a peek the next time one pedals past you. I've won a lot of bets on this unusual, physical characteristic.

-- In these cold weather months, a few early morning joggers wear coats, hats, gloves and running shorts. Geez, if it is that cold shouldn't they be wearing long, sweat pants? Or why even jog? Makes more sense to me!

-- Since I broke my tailbone back in July, my rear end begins to ache whenever the weather starts to change. Geez, do I have one of the world's biggest barometers back there and don't know it!

-- Well there you have it. The latest version of some of the things and individuals who make little Donnie Q. wonder about the mysteries of life.

Do any of them sound familiar?

-- Bet Your Favorite Pigeon

Bet your favorite pigeon that he can't tell you the farthest I have ever slid after falling, while skiing.

If he is a close friend of mine, he will reply, "Heck, it was many years ago while Don Q was cross country skiing down an icy mountainside in the Kit Carson Pass area. He fell and slid for more than 400 yards before stopping. He broke his right ski, lost his left ski, glasses, wool cap, both gloves, both ski poles and radio headphone set. He escaped battered, bruised, scraped and scared out of his wits but alive."