Last Thursday, I had the dubious pleasure of spending a day (AKA the longest three weeks of my life) fishing at Walker Lake.
It was my first major fishing trip since the horseback accident that broke my tailbone, back on July 8.
Since that accident I had only fished for about 2 hours several weeks ago on the Little Walker River. Prior to that, my only other major fishing experience this year was on a four-day packhorse trip in late June.
On Thursday, I was in the company of three friends, Norm Budden of Carson City, Gunny Benson of Douglas County and Bob Tompkins of Hawthorne.
All three are now former friends.
Budden is a fishing partner of many years.
Benson is one of the guest co-hosts on my weekly, live, one-hour, television show on Channel 10 in Carson City.
Tompkins is the owner of the Gun and Tackle Store in Hawthorne and also operates the Walker Lake Guide Services.
Between the three of them, they made that miserable, rotten, no-good day the longest three weeks of my life.
Honest!
Budden and I had originally hatched the idea of spending a quiet day, trout fishing at Walker Lake, while enjoying one of our frequent breakfasts at Creekside Deli, right here in Carson City.
The original plan was for the two of us to fish together in Budden's boat. Then I came up with the ingenious idea that we would go fishing with Tompkins.
He is the resident sport fishing guide (AKA "expert") for Walker Lake. It stands to reason that if anyone should know where to fish at that particular lake, how to fish and what to use, it should be him.
The logic behind my particular idea was that in the event we traveled to Walker Lake, fished all day and got "skunked," we could then blame Tompkins!
Hell, if he can't catch fish there, who can? He's the expert, not us.
Budden thought it was a great idea, I contacted our "pigeon" and we set a fishing date for Thursday.
Somehow and I'm not exactly sure how, Benson wormed his way into our trip and became one of the day's anglers. In retrospect, that was the biggest mistake of the day. After spending "three weeks" with him on Thursday, I have learned to hate Denver Bronco fans (I'm a die-hard Oakland Raider fan), ex-marines (I was in the U.S. Air Force), people who own archery shops (I hunt with a high-powered rifle), lousy fishermen (he couldn't catch a fish in a fish hatchery), etc.
On Thursday, Benson picked me up at the ghastly hour of 3:45 a.m.. Then, we drove to Budden's house to pick him up at 4 a.m.
At 4:00:01 a.m., Budden began loudly complaining that he needed hot coffee and doughnuts and we were expected to provide them for him.
I, not very politely, told him he could put his expected coffee and doughnuts where the sun does not shine.
Budden pouted until that coward Benson relented.
We stopped at Smith's Grocery Store in Dayton to get hot coffee and doughnuts.
Budden and Benson (AKA the two Scrooge Brothers) made me buy.
Then, we left for the long drive to Walker Lake.
On that drive, there were two interesting highlights:
One was Benson driving at a constant high rate of speed. He drives as if he were in the Baja 500 road race.
The other was on the Mason Valley Wildlife Management Area shortcut that takes you around City of Yerington. There is a very sharp corner on that particular road.
Benson was unaware of the corner and entered it at a high rate of speed.
I thought that it was really neat when we slid sideways for a long ways in a big cloud of dust.
Benson slowed down, his eyes were as big as saucers and I told him that I might sue him for endangerment.
Benson pouted.
We arrived at the boat launch at Sportsmen's Beach just before 6 a.m., which was the time we were scheduled to meet Tompkins.
He lives in Hawthorne, which is only 12 miles away.
He finally arrived at 6:45 a.m.
The three of us snarled at him.
He pouted.
Then, the four of us made a bet on the first fish of the day, the biggest fish of the day and the most fish of the day.
Tompkins quickly launched his boat and we began to troll toward "The Cliffs."
This was the area where Tompkins had told us there would be red-hot action for Lahontan cutthroat trout, up to about six pounds.
Yeah, right!
We could have done just as well trolling on my front lawn.
That was also when the cheating, conniving, lying and back-stabbing began.
The first note of discord for the day occurred when that sleazy, low-life Budden reached into the minnow bucket. He pulled out a two-inch minnow and proudly claimed that he had caught the first fish of the day.
Benson, Tompkins and I, not very politely, told him he could put the first fish of the day where the sun does not shine.
Budden pouted.
Shortly afterwards, Budden actually caught a fish. It was whimpy and we made him turn it loose.
Budden pouted.
Benson caught the next fish. It was a little bit larger, but still whimpy, and we made him turn it loose.
Benson pouted.
That low-life Tompkins cheated, went out of turn (it was my turn to catch a fish) and caught the third fish. It, too, was whimpy and we made him turn it loose.
Tompkins pouted.
The fourth fish of the day hit while my back was turned. My former friend Benson claimed that it was his turn again and reeled in the fish. It was also whimpy in size and we made him turn it loose.
Then it really got tense in the boat.
Benson pouted because he had to release that whimpy fish.
I pouted because he had cheated me out of my turn.
Budden pouted because no one would make a sandwich for him.
Tompkins pouted because he know that I would write bad things about this miserable fishing trip.
And, I am!
All in all, that was a long three weeks on Thursday.
Oh well, the fishing should pick up in the next several weeks.
Hmmm, I wonder if I can con them into another fishing trip in the near future?
Geez, the only thing that would make it better, would be if I could also con Bob "Slick"McCulloch of Carson City into going with the four of us.
Then I would have all of my favorite pigeons in one boat. Cool!
For information, call Tompkins at (775) 945-3266.
-- Bet Your Favorite Pigeon
Bet your favorite pigeon that he can't tell you the two species of fish found in Walker Lake.
He will have no trouble in naming the Lahontan cutthroat trout but you will win the bet if he doesn't say, "Tui Chub" as the other fish.
