Column: New development in the outdoor world doesn't work for me

Every once in a great while, some new invention or development comes along in the outdoor world that really makes a revolutionary change in a particular activity.

Some examples of what I mean are:

-The downrigger. This device (hand-operated or electric) has enabled anglers to fish at precisely known depths in lakes, reservoirs and oceans.

-The electronic fish locator. This provides anglers with detailed information about water depth, water temperature, speed of the boat, depth and location of each fish and even the size of the fish.

- The combination of the downrigger and the electronic fish locator. This combination is extremely efficient for serious anglers, with deadly results on the fish. You can locate your fish and then drop your lure right to them.

-The Global Positioning System (GPS). This modern-day electronic marvel uses a number of satellites circling the earth to determine your precise location anywhere on earth, with an accuracy of just a few yards. With one of these devices, you will never again be lost, on land or water, anywhere in the world.

-ATV's. These small vehicles, both in four-wheel and six wheel models, have opened up huge areas of the backcountry and the outdoors for exploration, fishing and hunting opportunities. And, they come equipped with a whole array of features including snow plows, gun racks, trailers, dump beds, post hole diggers.

-Muzzleloader (black powder) firearms. The new muzzleloader rifles are deadly accurate to distances up to 200 yards. 200 yards! They are very comparable to the high-powered 30-30 rifles that I first used in mule deer hunting.

-Compound bows. The new, light-weight, big game hunting models come complete with bow string silencers, variable-power scopes and are extremely accurate to distances up to about 80 yards.

-Cross country ski equipment. The new backcountry skis, bindings and boots are becoming more and more like the traditional downhill versions and almost as expensive. A pair of first-class, backcountry, cross country ski boots can cost you in the neighborhood of $500.

-And finally, last, but not least, in my list of examples of things that are changing how we enjoy our various sports, there are the new "Nitro Worms."

If you're not familiar with them, right about now, you are probably asking, "What in the heck are Nitro Worms?"

Well, they are fairly new in the fishing world and they have created a huge impact, according to some people.

By way of general background, Nitro Worms are supplied in this general area from Montreal, Canada. They are large, very-much-alive nightcrawlers. They have been chemically treated, which gives them a bright Chartreuse color. There are about 12-15 worms per container. However, they are expensive, running anywhere from $2.75 to $3.99 per container. Most impressively, they glow in the dark under a black light.

-Some local fishermen actually swear by them.

They have been using the Nitro Worms and reporting great, personal success at local waters such as Lahontan Reservoir, Frenchman's Reservoir, the Carson River, Indian Creek Reservoir, Red Lake, et al. Some even claim that the fish strike at the Nitro Worms as soon as they cast them into the water.

Some "worm dunkers" are buying every available container of those worms that they can get their hands on. Those fishermen are buying as many as five containers at a time. True story!

-Then on the other hand, there is the saga of "Don Q"

My luck with them has been absolutely dismal. Nitro Worms may be catching large numbers of fish for other anglers, but not for poor Don Q.

"Gunny" Benson, a good friend, new Co-Host on my live, weekly telelvison show and the owner of Aspen Archery and Outdoors at 3579 Highway 50 East (884-1464) in Carson City, "conned" me into buying some of those special worms. I am still shaking my head at a combination of my own stupidity and Benson making a quick, easy profit at my expense.

He guaranteed me that the fish would literally leap out of the water if I were to use these special worms. Yeah, sure!

After much use at places like Walker Lake, Lahontan Reservoir, Topaz Lake, the East Carson River and the Little Walker River, my results are pitiful. The next fish I catch with a Nitro Worm will be my first one. It's true!

The only leaping is yours truly jumping up and down, while loudly swearing and waving his arms in frustration.

I am here to tell you that my Nitro Worms couldn't catch cold, let alone catch a fish. The only thing they have caught to date is a sucker by the name of Don Q at a cost of about $3.75 per container.

Do you want to know what happens whenever I use those dumb worms?

Well, let me tell you.

When I thread those Nitro Worms on my fishing hook, the color comes off onto my fingers! Yeah, onto my fingers. Then my fingers develop the same, stupid, Chartreuse color as the Nitro Worms.

When my fingers become colored, my fishing partners, Norm Budden and Bob "Slick" McCulloch, snicker, laugh, call me bad names, point at me and refuse to let me touch the food for our lunches.

Worse yet, with those miserable Chartreuse-colored fingers, I am afraid to touch any other part of my body because that bright color comes off onto those other parts. It's true!

Geez, you should see what happens when I have to go to the bathroom when I am fishing with Nitro Worms.

No, come to think of it, you don't want to see the results!

I hate Benson.

I hate Nitro Worms.

I hate Budden and McCulloch.

I hate Chartreuse-colored fingers.

I hate having to go to the bathroom.

-Bet Your Favorite Pigeon

Bet your favorite pigeon that he can't tell you where the Nitro Worms are working the very best.

If he snickers and says, "Heck, that's an easy question. They are working best at Lahontan Reservoir," he could have bought a box of those worms and could be fishing with them.