A joke, as defined by Webster, is something that makes you laugh ... is "absurd" ... "not to be taken seriously." So may we remind all of you who became hysterical over Clinton jokes just a few years ago (and there were many), that fair is fair ... therefore, we feel it our duty to report the following:
"President Bush goes to a primary school to talk about his presidency. After his talk, he offers to answer some questions. One little boy raises his hand, and the president asks for his name and his question. The young man says, 'My name is Billy, and I have three questions. First, why did the U.S. invade Iraq without the support of the U.N.? Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama bin Laden?'
Just then the bell rings for recess, and the president informs them he will continue questions afterward. After they all return, another little boy puts his hand in the air. 'Yes?' asks the president, 'And who are you?.
'My name is Stevie, and I have five questions: First, why did the U.S. invade Iraq without the support of the U.N.? Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early? And fifth, what the hell happened to Billy?'"
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Nevada's Millennium scholars have been in the news lately with a debate over whether the scholarship should cover remedial classes at the university ... excuse us ... remedial classes? Why are students who have at least a "B" average having to take remedial classes? Didn't they learn reading, writing and arithmetic in high school? And, if not, why are they passing, getting at least "Bs," and scholarships to boot? It ain't adding up ...
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One of our readers would like to thank the person who left a note on her windshield the other day at Casino Fandango ... seems someone had seen a car clip hers and damage it and leave without stopping. That someone left a note with the license plate number of the car that hit hers, and, when she reported it to the police, they called the miscreant, who admitted it and eventually paid for the damage. So thanks again to the unknown person who let her know what happened. Chalk one up for the good guys ...
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We had the pleasure of going to Reno on Sunday and hear our dear friend Nate Walker speak at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Northern Nevada. Nate just graduated with a degree in theology, and he put it to great use speaking to his friends and the congregation. We were pleased to be included ...
We also hit the Greek festival at St. Anthony's church for the food and dancing ... and if they hadn't been watching, we'd have ripped the Greek posters off the wall ... the pictures are so beautiful ... Opa!
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Mel Rappaport strikes again ... "A lady was sitting in the waiting room of her new dentist when she noticed that the name on the diploma was the same as a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy she'd had a secret crush on many years ago. When the dentist came in, she discarded that idea ... seeing the balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face, she decided he was obviously too old to be her classmate. Hmmm, or could he?
After he examined her, she asked him if he ever attended Carson High? He gleamed with pride and said, 'Why, yes. I'm a Senator.'
'When did you graduate?' she asked. 'In 1959,' he replied, 'Why do you ask?'
'You were in my class,' she exclaimed. He looked puzzled ... then peered at her closely ... then that ugly, old, wrinkled, son of a you-know-what asked, 'What did you teach?'"
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If you're in a mind to donate to a good cause, the friends and families of the 113 AVN, a Nevada Army guard group stationed at Stead, now serving in Kandihar, Afghanistan, are looking for funds to buy a satellite Internet system for reliable e-mail and video conferencing. They have raised about half of what is needed, but need about $7,000 more. You can donate to any 1st Independent Bank of Nevada or contact Susan Fisher at 775-787-8436. It's a wonderful way to thank our men and women from Nevada for their service in the armed forces ...
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Carolyn just returned from a trip with her daughters and grandchildren, Kim Johnston and Susie, Lexie and Reid Lequerica, to the Fensalden Inn in Albion, Calif. They spent days on the beach looking at the tidepools and splashing in the water. They also went to Glass Beach, north of Fort Bragg, where the beach is covered by bits of glass left over from the old city dump and milled by the ocean to smooth pebbles ... very shiny and different. Needless to say, they had a great time. Now Carolyn wants someone to send her to Europe (first class, of course) ...
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Our best "get-well wishes" to Sen. Harry Reid ... may you feel "tip-top" soon ...
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The Carson High Booster Club and Coach Shane Quilling sure know how to put on a party ... they honored Bob Frank, Rick Redican, Sonny Allen and Coach Ed Jesse (who were all thrilled) at a dinner in the parking lot of Adele's on Saturday ... they'd sold 175 tickets and had food for that many, but they also had 50 walk-ins ... the folks at Adele's came through and managed to get everybody fed ... so, a good time was had by all. There was music, a silent auction and a lot of camaraderie among old friends on a beautiful balmy night. If you missed it, be sure to get there next year ...
And don't forget, the first game of the season will be Friday at home at 7 p.m. (with the JVs starting at 4) against Moapa Valley ... the Senators looked goooood in scrimmage, and, if nothing else, the coaches are cute ...
The Blue Thunder Band will also be strutting its stuff under the direction of Felicia Wirgau, CHS's new band director ... it doesn't get any better than this if the whole student body and community supports the school ... we expect to see you at all the games ... goooooo, Senators! ...
n Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.