Exercise excuses: I've heard them all

Life is full of exercise excuses. Here are some of the best ones I've heard during my 35 years of sweat:.

• "I can't see any results." - If you want your exercise results to make you 15 years younger with no gray hair, then you are exceeding your possibilities. But if you are seeking a new, sleek, totally fit body and a positive approach to life, then you may find that result, along with a few less pounds.

• "It's too hot, cold, windy, humid, etc." - This one covers a lot of ground. It's always too something if you don't want to exercise. The human body was made to work during all types of weather conditions. You need only adjust the speed, location and structure of the exercise to fit the weather.

• "I have a bad knee, back, neck, etc." - I haven't met anyone who doesn't have a something bad somewhere. Swim, ride a bicycle, or walk. Ask your doctor what exercises you can do and think motivation.

• "The floor's too hard." - Sometimes I think when we were first put on this earth someone looked up and said, "It'll do, but the ground's too hard." Put whatever is needed on those feet to prevent injury and continue your workouts within your level of capability.

• "I get all the exercise I need chasing the kids." - If this worked, we'd all be skinny as nails and have steel belly muscles.

• "I don't want to have muscles." - That takes care of the heart. Without that muscle, the other ones don't matter.

• "I'll start exercising as soon as I lose 20 pounds." - That should keep you out of exercise for life. I haven't met anyone who doesn't want to lose weight.

• "I don't have time for exercise." - You make time for the things you really want to do.

• "I'll exercise as soon as I quit smoking." - The reverse works. Once into exercise, you find you can't breathe, so you smoke less.

• "It makes me tired and sweaty." - Great, maybe we're getting somewhere.

• "I just had my hair, nails, etc., done." - Well, that'll be the only part of you in good shape. How can you possibly care about the condition of your nails when your belly hangs over your shorts?

• "I haven't finished my 5-pound box of chocolates." - I'm not making this up. Give it away, or you will wear it on your hips.

I'll see you again in 2006, and you can give me your own versions of exercise excuses. Let's hear some really creative ones for a change.

n Jerry Vance is owner of The Sweat Shop/Wet Sweat. She offers classes through Carson City Recreation and Aquatics Center and is a fitness instructor for the senior center.