Helping others - guinea pigs - has its rewards

A caring lady we know was visiting a friend the other night, and, as she was leaving, saw what she thought was a small rabbit in the road. Thinking she could not leave it there, she got out of the car and walked up to the little brown-spotted critter, only to have a little starving guinea pig hop up to her. She picked it up and held it on her shoulder, while trying to hold her dog back (who knew a tasty treat when he saw one), and went to her cousin's house. They got a dog-proof box for the animal, then went to the store to buy some food for it. The poor thing gulped down some water and ate lettuce like there was no tomorrow, and, since the guinea pig had been saved from a sure-fire demise had he been left in the road, they decided to name him "Lucky."

Now, the story would normally end here (and it does for the guinea pig, which is now enjoying a full-fed life), but at the store, the two ladies overheard a man who looked somewhat down on his luck ask the market manager if he could heat up the TV dinner he had just bought (mind you, a TV dinner ... no alcohol or cigarettes). The manager, rudely and in no uncertain terms, said, "No ... the microwave is strictly for our employees." Then they heard the man say, "That's all right, it will defrost soon enough."

When they exited the store, they saw him in the parking lot. One of them went up to him, said she had overheard the conversation with the manager, and offered him a few dollars so that he could go nearby and get a hot meal at a fast-food restaurant. He thanked them, but refused, saying again that his TV dinner would soon defrost. They both marveled at this man who was down on his luck, refusing their aid, but also being polite and kind and non-complaining about the rude manager. So, in closing this "human (and guinea pig) interest" story, we can only hope that "Lucky's" luck rubs off on the nice man, and thank the ladies with the kind intentions ...

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Hot news of the week from Eleanor Harbert and the Pentagon: "Seems the Pentagon has announced the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the U.S. Redneck Special Force. Boys from Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama and other "Dixie" states will be dropped into Iraq with only the following directives: 1) The season opened today. 2) There is no limit. 3) They taste just like chicken. 4) They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus. And 5) They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt. The mess in Iraq should be over in a week."

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Bits & pieces: Now that the flag is up on C Hill and looking splendid, would someone please white-wash and spruce up the "C"? Ariana Pruneau just came into the world as the proud daughter of Kam and Steve Pruneau ... congratulations. Sierra Bakery is now under the ownership of Elvira Diaz ... with the same wonderful goodies being baked there (883-1145). The Skin Cancer & Dermatology Institute needs "fat chairs" in the waiting room ... no amount of laser skin removal will make it easy for a "certain heavy-set lady" to fit in those chairs, Dr. Rowe ... (draw evil grin in here ________)

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State retirees took a hit this month when the new insurance rates went up and their checks went down ... ouch.

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Fractured fairy tales: "Mary had a little lamb. Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, between two chunks of bread." "Hey diddle diddle, the cat took a piddle, all over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun ... then died of electric shock." "There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good, but when she was bad ... she got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo and a sports car."

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Seems whenever there is road construction, the complainers come out in force. If they replace the water and sewer lines, they complain that it's messing up the roads. If the water and sewer lines fail, they complain because they were never replaced. They complain if they block traffic to widen the road, but if they don't widen it, they complain that traffic is too congested. Just think ... a hundred years ago, they wouldn't have had to complain ... no traffic, no sewers, no plumbing for water ... may we suggest that you move to a Third World country ... or would you complain about that, too?

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Some people were talking about a high school and college graduation ceremony at the prison the other day ... one lady looked up and said, "They graduate from prison? I thought they just let them out." When the laughter died down, it was explained that the convicts could get an education in prison, but that it didn't mean they were "graduated" out of there. The good news is, that when they do graduate and then get out at a later date, the recidivism rate is low ...

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Vern Manke tells us of a couple who were debating about buying a new vehicle. He wanted a truck ... she wanted a fast sports car. He probably would have settled for any beat-up old truck, but she wanted, " ... something that goes from 0-200 in just a few seconds. Surprise me ... it's my birthday next week." So he did ... he bought her a new bathroom scale. No one has seen or heard from him since.

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Mike and Annie Kelley are soon moving to Florida. While they will be sorely missed, they are leaving a legacy to Proscenium Players Inc. and are putting all the shows they photographed on DVDs for the Players' archives. It's a feat much appreciated by all those who worked so hard on so many plays. Thanks so much and bon voyage ...

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"A man is driving down a road, when he passes a woman driving the other way, who yells out at him, 'Pig!' He immediately yells, 'Witch!' at her, then promptly crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road." Moral of the story ... "If men would only listen ... " ( _____________ This blank space is left for your own comments ... courtesy of Ken Fraser and the columnists)

n Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.