The fog of sleep was still clouding my brain one recent morning when I heard the words "Paul Wolfowitz" and "President of the World Bank" in the same sentence. I had to check the channel to make sure I wasn't hearing a rerun of "The Daily Show."
No, it's true. Assistant Secretary of Defense Wolfowitz, whose expert advice at the Pentagon included the part about American troops being greeted as liberators in Iraq, will now be dispensing his economic wisdom around the world.
The Iraq debacle aside, one would think there were better candidates out there who have more experience in banking than operating an ATM. Certainly, there must be an unemployed economist who doesn't mind lots of travel. Anyone?
Of course, there is at least some precedent. After misjudging the Vietnam War to the tune of nearly 60,000 dead Americans, Defense Secretary Robert McNamara went on to lead - surprise !- the World Bank. It's like an old folks' home for armchair warriors.
This appointment, like several others recently, has elicited exclamations of "What the ..." from even jaded Washington pros. It's as if the evil genius Karl Rove is channeling Franz Kafka for new political strategies.
Somewhere in the White House, George W. Bush is laughing.
I can imagine Bush sitting in a room with Rove, joking about what kind of reaction these appointments will get, playing a game of who can do the best job of confusing the living crap out of everyone.
"What do you think of this, Turd Blossom," Bush would say to his right-hand man. "I'll appoint someone who HATES the United Nations to be my U. N Ambassador! Ha! That'll give the Frenchies a heart attack!"
But as each appointment stretches the bounds of insanity, Bush has to keep pushing even more craziness.
He started with Condi Rice, who flubbed the pre-9/11 warning thing, then made sure the president's State of the Union speech had false information. Oh, and then there's Iraq, and that business about the WMD and mushroom clouds.
That's enough damage to send a normal person packing for work with a traveling circus. But no, Condi is now secretary of state.
Then, let's take Alberto Gonzales, who came up with that twisted legal reasoning condoning torture. He would be indicted for war crimes in any other country, but as part of Bush's joke on the world, Gonzales is now attorney general.
In addition to U.N. Ambassador-designate John Bolton, Bush picked his other long-time political operative Karen Hughes to help change the perception of the U.S. in the Middle East. Commenting on the administration's claim that Hughes is the most qualified for this mission, Jon Stewart asked the question, "How about someone who speaks Arabic?"
Isn't it amazing that in this surreal world created by George and his Jokers, we need a fake news program like "The Daily Show" to bring to light these absurd realities?
As for Bush's next attempt to shock the world, I can't predict. But if Ken Lay weren't under indictment for the looting of Enron, he'd be appointed Treasury secretary.
Kirk Caraway is Internet Editor for the Nevada Appeal and NevadaPolitics.com. His email address is kcaraway@nevadaappeal.com.
