We'll check into the new hospital any time

We were kindly given a tour of the new Carson Tahoe Regional Medical Center last week by Mary Woods and Kevin Stansbury. We now don't think we'll wait 'til we're sick, but just might move in permanently. Every room is private and has a view ... some of the valley, some of the hills and freeway (you can count cars or play "slug-bug"), and some of the atriums in the middle of the building. Each room has a private bathroom and a window seat that can be converted into a "guest" bed. It's so large, we think they'll need golf carts just to get from one end to the other ... and it's quiet ... noise-suppression features are in place all over. The pediatric ward is done in muted greens and blues, and the acoustic tiles on the ceiling have sea creatures carved into them. There's a brightly colored pediatric play center and state-of-the-art features everywhere. There is a large gift store and a cafeteria/buffet section. The public is invited to tour the hospital from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. . Nov. 12 ... be sure and attend ... it's a great chance to see it. The new surgi-center is already open, and the new cancer center has broken ground. A class act all around. The staff has run through simulations of every kind so that they will be prepared for the "real thing." The big move takes place Dec. 3, and they will be ready for business at that time. Congratulations to all, and thank you, Mary and Kevin, for the great tour and lunch.

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Since Thanksgiving is approaching, we thought you could use some cooking tips: For non-lumpy gravy, put your salt in the flour before you mix it; for non-lumpy potatoes, heat the milk you add before you add it ... voila ... no lumps; and from Woody's Diner ... put a cup of uncooked popcorn in the stuffing ... when it pops, it blows the a** off the turkey, and you know it's done ... (mercy)

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Lucille Adams wanted to know if we knew about the new TV show "Survivor Idaho Style?" "They start off in Pocatello and go through Rexburg and Salmon. They then head out to Challis and Riggins, and to Fruitland and Caldwell. The final leg takes them on I-84 to Mountain Home and Twin Falls and back to Pocatello. Each contestant will be given a pink Volvo with California license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads: 'I'm a vegetarian ... beer is harmful and down with Republicans. Hillary in 2008. Deer hunting is murder, and I'm here to confiscate your guns.' The first one that makes it back to Pocatello alive, wins ... good luck ... "

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We heard the story of someone's mother who was urged to try a glucometer for her diabetes. Her daughter called her and asked how it was going. The mother replied, "It's so nice ... when I use it, it says 'Hi.'" She had to have it explained that "HI" meant her blood sugar was off the charts, and she better see her doctor. All's well that ends well ... she did, and the glucometer doesn't "greet" her anymore ...

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We were talking the other day about the two best inventions or improvements in our lives in the last 100 years (no, we're not that old) ... Carolyn likes electricity and airplanes, and Maizie likes dentistry and indoor plumbing ... think about it ...

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Last week, the United States hit more than 2,000 casualties in Iraq, and more than 15,000 wounded ... let it be a reminder to support our troops and their families ...

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Proscenium Players presents "The Curious Savage," beginning Friday night ... get your tickets and information by calling 883-1976. And WNCC will open "Fiddler on the Roof" on Saturday ... call 445-4249 for information. Both are great shows ...

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Ric Garcia (husband of the lovely Bonnie) has been named the new CHS girl's basketball coach, replacing Alana Williams. We wish them both well in their new endeavors. Also, happy birthday to Zach Hudson ... Carolyn's great nephew ...

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Ken Fraser tells us about a man who appears before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates ... "'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asks. 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the man offers. 'Once, on a trip to the Black Hills I came upon a gang of bikers threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the biggest, meanest biker, hit him over the head, kicked his bike over, snatched out his nose ring, and told him, "Leave her alone now, or you'll answer to me.' St. Peter was impressed. 'When did this happen?' 'Just a couple of minutes ago ...'"

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He also sent us, "Did you hear about the Pepsi driver? He was fired because he tested positive for Coke ... "

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We had a great breakfast last weekend with Dr. Colleen Lyons and Marie Hansen at Empire Ranch golf course. Dr. Lyons "won" us at the Carson Library Oktoberfest in the silent auction. While we didn't solve the problems of the world, we did have a fine time with lots of stories and laughs ... thanks for bidding on us, Colleen ...

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And since the movie "Chicken Little" is out now, we thought you might like the following from Dee Ann Parsons: "One day, the first-grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ' ... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' The teacher paused, then asked the class, 'And what do you think that the farmer said?' One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said: 'Holy s**t! A talking chicken!' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes ... "

Here's hoping you had a good Nevada Day and Halloween.

n Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.