Diagnosed with cancer at age 23, Krista Wickerham believed her disease was a gift from God.
She spent the two years she had left fighting her illness and sharing her faith and deep-seated belief that she was heavenbound.
Wickerham died July 17, three days after she received an honorary education degree from the University of Nevada, Reno.
The 25-year-old planned every detail of her memorial service and the pizza and beer party that followed, signaling to family and friends that Wickerham's brief life was to be celebrated, not mourned.
"One of the first things Krista said after her diagnosis was, 'I know God is in charge,'" said her mother, Jeannie Wickerham, in an interview at the family's Westwood home. "That's how she approached the whole thing from Day 1.
"She faced the whole thing with such faith. It was a great new adventure to her and she looked forward to going to heaven," her mother said.
Right after New Year's Day 2004, Richard Wickerham accompanied his daughter to the doctor for treatment of what they believed to be a sinus infection.
The diagnosis turned out to be rhabdomyosarcoma, an aggressive form of cancer more commonly found in children.
"The doctor put it very unusually. He said, 'It's not benign.' Krista didn't say a word. She sat there and the tears ran down her face," Richard Wickerham said.
"After that, she put her best foot forward and spent every day doing everything she could. The first thing was to try to conquer it. When it got the best of her, she made sure she faced the rest of her life with a positive spirit."
Relentless battle
By the time a specialist at Stanford University saw Krista, the cancer had metastasized to her lungs.
She interrupted her education studies at the University of Nevada, Reno, and began a 44-week series of chemotherapy and radiation treatments which included a two-month stay at Stanford.
"It was very difficult," Richard Wickerham said. "She was so sick and the anti-nausea medicine left terrible sores in her mouth. She couldn't eat."
When Krista was sent home, she tried to maintain as normal a life as possible, living in her Reno apartment and returning to school.
"In December '04, she checked out OK and we felt she was in remission," her father said.
"She completed the '05 spring semester and just before the end of the semester, we learned the cancer had returned on her spine and in her lungs. She went back on a 37-week course of treatment of radiation and chemo," he said.
Every three weeks, Krista was hospitalized for five days of treatment.
"It seemed like the second round was easier than the first," he said. "There were not as many side effects."
But the cancer came back in 2006.
This time, Krista had an orbital tumor behind her right eye and cancer in her breast.
Doctors told her in May, the cancer was resistant to the current course of treatment.
"Krista made the decision herself that she would rather have a good quality of what remained of her life," her father said.
Doctors gave the 2000 Douglas High School graduate two to six months to live.
At first, Krista thought she might use the time to finish school because she was only five credits short of her elementary education degree.
But she changed her mind.
"Krista decided she wanted to cram as much living as she could in the time she had left," her mother recalled.
That included a 10-day trip to Hawaii with friends where Krista swam with the dolphins.
Rather than begrudge their daughter that precious time away from home, the Wickerhams rejoiced that she had the opportunity and the stamina to travel.
Deserved to be called 'teacher'
When Krista returned, she was hospitalized at Washoe Medical Center for treatment of vision problems caused by the tumor behind her eye.
A hospital technician, hearing Krista's story, contacted the university, and set in motion the plans that culminated in her honorary degree ceremony on July 14.
Her family told Krista ahead of time, concerned she would be too overwhelmed by a surprise ceremony.
"At first she just burst into tears, telling us she didn't deserve it because she didn't finish her course work," said her father. "Every speaker recognized that Krista wanted to be a teacher and how she taught a lot of them courage in facing her illness."
A dozen faculty members and acting President Joe Crowley participated in the special ceremony before 100 friends and family members.
"Krista was in her wheelchair with the oxygen, wearing her cap and gown," Richard Wickerham said. "She was so proud. She just cried."
Speaker after speaker touched on her courage and determination.
"We know that good teachers touch the lives of their students," said William Sparkman, dean of the college. "But, we also know that students touch our lives as well. Krista earned the right to be called a teacher."
The next day was Saturday and a graduation party was planned, but Krista was too ill, so her father stayed home with her.
Jeannie Wickerham kept an all-night vigil Sunday at her daughter's bedside.
At 5 a.m. Monday, July 17, Krista said she wanted to rest in the recliner next to her bed because it was more comfortable. After she was settled in, Krista told her mother to get some sleep.
Jeannie Wickerham awoke at 9 a.m. and found Krista's body. Apparently, her daughter got up and collapsed and died in the hallway. Doctors said her death was swift and painless.
"She died two months to the day that doctors told her she had two-to-six months to live," Jeannie Wickerham said.
Celebration of life
"She planned her whole memorial service. She was busy up to the end. She made it as easy for us as she could and wanted to make sure things were done in her way. Krista said she didn't want any sadness or anybody in black," Jeannie Wickerham said.
"She wanted a celebration at her entrance into heaven," added her father.
Krista's "celebration of life" at Carson Valley United Methodist Church on July 22 attracted hundreds of guests, including the medical personnel who treated her illness.
"There is no doubt in our minds they did the very best for her," Jeannie Wickerham said.
The ceremony included music and a eulogy offered by members of the Mount Rose Evangelical Free Church, Krista's Reno congregation.
"That's really what got her and all of us through this," said Richard Wickerham. "Her faith was so positive. She bypassed anger."
"She felt it was worthless to spend her time on 'Whys?'" said her mother.
Crowley sent the Wickerhams a note after Krista died.
"She was such a courageous young woman, so brave in the face of death, so gracious in wanting the rest of us to gather together to honor her in an atmosphere of celebration. That ceremony will remain for the rest of my days in both my memory and my heart," he wrote.
Kim Wickerham Jones, 29, said her younger sister will serve as an inspiration.
Jones, a busy mother of three - including a three-month-old infant, said Krista encouraged her to return to school.
"She's inspired me to do what I want to do," Jones said. "She gave other people inspiration and courage that you can move on and do whatever you want. I wanted to go back to school, and little by little, I'm going back to Western Nevada Community College."
One more gift
Krista had a one more gift for her parents.
After the service, her friends gave them a red leather journal that Krista kept for them. She filled it with pictures and outpourings of love for the parents who adopted her in Korea when she was six months old.
"At first, I couldn't read it," Jeannie Wickerham said.
But, gradually, she read the messages from her daughter.
"It's been such a gift," she said. "It helps us remember Krista before she got sick."
Richard Wickerham shared part of what Krista wrote.
In the passage meant for her father's eyes, she talked about what a role model he had been and how much she loved him.
The Wickerhams offered their daughter's story as inspiration for others enduring troubled times.
"Maybe in some way what Krista went through could help someone else keep going," Richard Wickerham said.
"We adopted her at six months and she taught us how to live with joy," Jeannie Wickerham said. "Then, she taught us how to die with grace. But she wouldn't take credit for that. It's her gift from God."
HOW YOU CAN HELP
Krista Wickerham asked that donations in her name be made to Gospel for Asia, an organization that supports native missionaries and helps establish local Christian churches in Asia.
ON THE WEB
Gospel for Asia
www.gfa.org
