'We are on a journey that has forever changed our lives'

David Paul Candia sits quietly on a stone bench that marks the grave of his cousin Joshua Rodgers at Eastside Memorial Park.

Raised like brothers, Candia said he visits Rodgers' grave often.

Sometimes Candia brings books or newspapers to read, keeping the fallen soldier updated on his family and the goings-on in the world Rodgers left May 30, 2007, when his helicopter was shot down over Afghanistan.

"We were born eight days apart," said Candia, who marked their 30th birthdays in February by leaving a hat at the memorial.

Rodgers, a 1997 Douglas High School graduate, remains a vibrant part of the lives of his wife, three daughters, parents, cousins, aunts and uncles and a host of friends from Carson Valley to Fort Bragg, N.C., where he was stationed.

On New Year's Eve, Casey Rodgers brought sleeping bags to her husband's grave and joined her in-laws for a vigil in 20-degree temperatures.

Casey Rodgers, also a 1997 Douglas graduate, still lives in North Carolina with her children.

"We have always been a very close family, whenever anybody was in need we were there for them," said Debbie Walker, Rodgers' mother.

"Cousins were raised like brothers and sisters."

On a recent warm summer evening, a week before July 4, Walker made a couple of telephone calls and 13 family members arrived at the grave site from Carson City and northern Douglas County to remember Rodgers and help Walker celebrate her birthday.

"Losing Joshua has brought us even closer together, if that is possible," Walker said. "We tend to talk about our feelings more; we do not pass up a chance to tell each other how much they mean to us or to share our concerns."

Candia said he stops by his cousin's grave as often as possible.

"Five or six times a day, I just think about Josh," he said. "I like it here. It's quiet and I can think about things."

Walker and her husband Ben traveled to Fort Bragg, N.C., near the first anniversary of her son's death for a memorial at the post for Rodgers and the six members of his crew who died when his CH47 Chinook helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan.

A child development center at Fort Bragg was renamed in Rodgers' honor, reflecting his devotion to his three daughters, Madison, 8, Autumn, 4, and Ashlyn, 3.

"When Joshua was away at basic training, most of his letters to me were about how important family was, and how much he appreciated his family life," Walker said. "Whenever he came home (Carson Valley), he always wanted to get the family all together."

Independence Day carries a special meaning.

Today, they plan to attend a memorial service in Virginia City for Staff Sgt. Brian Bolander, killed April 29 by an improvised explosive device in Baghdad.

Rodgers' family reached out to the Bolanders after his death.

"We are so sad for any and all of the families that are enduring the loss of their loved ones," Walker said.

"We try to do what we can by walking for the soldiers, praying for their safe return and, of course, 'Uncle Mike' with the flash suppressors," she said.

By 5:30 p.m., family members plan to be back in Carson City for their weekly 2-mile walk on Carson Street wearing red shirts and carrying American flags.

The family has made the march every week since Rodgers died. Motorists honk and wave, and anyone is invited to join the walk.

"I feel like carrying the flag and wearing the red shirt helps me," Debbie Walker said. "I pray that the walks make people stop and think about what all these families are sacrificing, take a moment to pray for a soldier and his family, talk to the families."

Rodgers' uncle Mike McElfish collected $19,000 in donations over the past year to finance vortex flash suppressors that he helped manufacture and ship to soldiers in the Middle East.

The device hides a weapon's flash. Had his nephew's crew been equipped with the devices, McElfish believes they may have been able to defend themselves before their helicopter plunged 200 feet to the ground killing everyone on board.

The vortex suppressors aren't the only contributions the McElfishes have made " two of their sons are in the military. Matt McElfish is an Army specialist and Michael McElfish is a private first class in the Nevada National Guard.

"We tried to talk them both out of volunteering," their father said. "First, Matt, but he was very adamant that this is what he wanted to do, regardless of the possibility that he could lose his life. Then, again, with Michael, who joined after Josh was killed. Michael has a wife and two children, but he, too, was set to join."

The McElfishes said their apprehension is mixed with pride for their sons' service.

"We keep telling ourselves that worrying isn't going to make them any safer, but when deployment comes around we will be faced with the reality that their lives will be in danger, but they are grown men now," he said.

"They make their own choices, and we will have to accept that and all that goes with it," he said.

"I am proud to say I am the mother of two American soldiers defending our freedom," Susie McElfish said.

Walker said she and Casey still expect Joshua to come home.

"We know that isn't reality, but we keep anticipating," she said. "It is hard because he was gone, and we are just waiting for another homecoming."

Walker said she takes comfort in her faith.

"It is my faith in the Lord, and appreciation and understanding of what it means to be part of a loving family that keeps me strong," she said.

"We are on a journey that has forever changed our lives. We are not the same as we were before May 30, 2007," Walker said. "We know he is in a better place and that we will all be together when it is time. I was blessed to have had the privilege of being his mother."