Talking to teens about dating violence

by Jamie Wise

Special to The R-C

Some think of domestic violence as an adult issue. Some wonder why the abused person doesn't leave or how the abusive person could treat their partner that way. Conclusions may be made about the type of homes they grew up in or if alcohol or drug use brought about these behaviors. We often overlook that teenage years are rehearsals for adult relationships. Sometimes relationships turn out to be healthy, but with the rise of social pressures, domestic violence and teens exposed to more adult situations, even teen relationships are showing signs of abuse.

The 2007 Youth Risk Behavior Survey conducted in Nevada secondary schools, reported that about 10 percent of secondary students in Douglas County report being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by a dating partner. Another 9 percent report having been forced to have sexual intercourse. Statistics for verbal and emotional abuse are even higher.

Half of the teens in a national study claimed to know the warning signs of a bad or hurtful dating relationship, so it's important to teach children about the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships at an early age.

The Family Support Council of Douglas County is planning two programs related to teen dating violence in Douglas County secondary schools. Teen Dating Violence Prevention focuses on peer pressure, sexual harassment and healthy friendships and relationships, dating violence and sexual assault. The goal of this program is to equip youth with prevention tools and knowledge needed for current and/or future relationships.

The Teen Advocate Training peer-to-peer program trains teens on the red flags of dating violence and how to discuss it with their friends.

Take the time to talk with your teenagers about dating violence, discuss the red flags of a potentially unhealthy relationship and what they could do if they see their friend in an abusive relationship. The most important part is that a conversation happens with every teen so that dating violence no longer has an impact on our community's children.

Are you in an unhealthy relationship?

n Is your partner controlling and extremely jealous?

n Does your partner blame you for his/her problems?

n Do you apologize or make excuses for your partner's bad behavior?

n Does your partner intimidate or threaten you? Do you feel like you walk on eggshells?

n Does your partner tell you who you can spend time with, what you can wear and where you can go?

n Does your partner call you names, put you down or make you feel as if you are never good enough?

n Does your partner hit you or cause any other physical harm?

n For more information on teen dating violence, or for ideas on how to talk to your teen, contact Teen Advocate Jamie Wise at Family Support Council of Douglas County, 782-8692.