How domestic violence may affect children

by Mindy Borchers

Special to The R-C

"When my dad gets mad, he turns into the Incredible Hulk," a child said when he described the transformation that takes place when his father is no longer able to control his temper. For this child, his father is not seen as a superhero, but instead as a big, green, scary monster. This is the face of domestic violence in Douglas County today.

The Douglas County Sheriff's Office reports that last year in our area more than 300 children observed domestic violence and more than 400 juveniles were involved in domestic disputes. These are children who play on your street, who you see playing in the park or sitting next to you in church. These are children who live in your neighborhood and your community in Carson Valley.

Statistics routinely show that children who are raised witnessing domestic violence are very likely to repeat the patterns of behaviors that they have learned. The National Center for Children Exposed to Violence states on their Web site that "children who witness violence at home display emotional and behavioral disturbances as diverse as withdrawal, low self-esteem, nightmares, and aggression against peers, family members and property." They state studies have estimated more than 29 million children commit an act of violence against a sibling each year.

These children are learning how to hurt. They are watching and studying how to harm, injure, wound, and damage others with their words and with their hands. Ending the cycle of domestic violence begins with ending the violence in the youngest of witnesses.

Douglas County has implemented a zero-tolerance policy for domestic violence. Agencies and law enforcement work diligently every day to ensure families are safe and peaceful homes are a standard of living here. If you or someone you know has a child who is suffering from the effects of witnessing domestic violence, please search out help. Resources are available in our community. No child should have to live with the burden of domestic violence.

n Mindy Borchers is a children's advocate at Family Support Council of Douglas County, 782-8692.