Anyone who endured the below-zero weather a few weeks ago probably could have related to Minden Elementary School's annual Christmas play.
Veteran sixth-grade teacher Dawn Caldwell-Rothfusz writes a different play each year for her students to perform during the holiday season.
"It's my 20th year," Caldwell-Rothfusz said on Dec. 17, the last day of performances. "It's what they (the students) all look forward to."
This year was no exception. The first scene from "Problems at the North Pole" showed a discouraged, sedentary Santa Claus, just returned from his holiday duties, complaining to his wife about the relentless cold weather.
"I'm so tired of this cold. I think it's time to move somewhere warmer, a nice deserted island in the tropics with sandy beaches and an ocean view," pined Mr. Claus, played by 11-year-old Colt Thurston.
"You have an ocean view now - it's just frozen," answered Mrs. Claus, played by classmate Allison Ansel.
Turns out Mr. Claus had been doing more than mere wishing. He'd hired Rudy the Realtor, as portrayed by Alexis Carrillo, to find him some pleasant beach property.
"She is not my favorite person," Mrs. Claus said after the real estate agent had paid them a visit.
Santa's elves were also exhausted after a busy Christmas season. Awaiting their big dance for the night, one elf named Elmo (Jake Nagy) noticed a new female elf from the South Pole named Elmira (Isa Basche).
"Wow, that new elf is cute," Elmo told his friends. "What are the odds she'd say no if I asked her to the dance? There's no way I could take rejection. I'd be scarred for life."
"The odds are actually one-in-two," answered a nerdy, math-obsessed elf named Ed, played by Alex Reyes.
During scene changes in the play, audience members were asked to turn around and face four other elves who performed rhymes, riddles and jokes for crowd while they waited.
"What's an old snowman called?" one of the elves asked.
"Pepto-Bismol," answered 11-year-old elf Bhargov Patel.
The correct answer was water, but Bhargov continued replying "Pepto-Bismol" for every punch-line until the last joke, which was about astronauts. He finally gave a correct answer.
"Missile-toe!" he proudly proclaimed.
While the elves worked through their "problems," Santa's reindeer confronted challenges of their own.
The reindeer were not happy with Prancer (Lorenzo Gomez), who earlier had professed his desire to quit the sleigh-pulling business and become a professional dancer.
"We had a couple of close calls because of you," snapped an angry, weightlifting Blitzen played by Logan Miller. "It's hard to be quiet on the rooftops with you stomping and dancing around."
But Prancer's dream was not to be deterred. In fact, he helped choreograph the elves' big dance.
"The heavens must be crying right now, because they lost an angel," a smooth-talking elf named Elvis (Sam Machabales) told one of the female elves at the dance.
With pulled up sweat-pants, pens clipped to his shirt, and thick, tape-wrapped glasses, Ed the elf had a harder time with the ladies.
"You know there is a one-in-five chance that one of you will dance with me," Ed told a group of five girls.
"More like a zero chance if you keep talking like that," one snotty elf retorted.
But in the end, Ed found a willing dance partner, and Elmo finally won the affection of Elmira.
"Wow, Prancer, that was totally sick!" the elves told the aspiring reindeer who'd helped them.
Crashing the party, though, Blitzen had some other choice words for his coworker.
"He's breaking training and it's inexcusable," he said. "He's a reindeer, and he's supposed to be pulling the sleigh."
"I'm still a reindeer, I'm just going to be a dancing reindeer," Prancer countered.
After much consideration, with the insistence of the elves, Blitzen finally accepted Prancer's career change.
"Well, I guess you were never good pulling the sleigh anyway," he said.
The dance was further disrupted when Mrs. Claus broke the awful news that her husband was considering a move to the tropics.
"Please stay," the group later pleaded with Santa Claus. "We don't want to move. We'll melt in the tropics. This is our home, and we love it. Everything we need is right here."
After the elves and reindeer sang Hannah Montana's "It's all right here," Santa Claus reevaluated his options.
"That was impressive. I didn't know you felt so strongly about staying," he said. "Maybe I just need a vacation."
Santa's decision put a smile on everyone's face, except of course Rudy the Realtor, who'd lost a lucrative deal.
"But I spent hours looking for a deserted island," Rudy grumbled while exiting the stage. "I would have gotten it sold if it weren't for Mrs. Claus and those meddling reindeer!"
