A year later, family still haunted by murder

Benjamin Oxley's family gathered in Hawaii on Saturday for a memorial to the former Johnson Lane resident who was murdered one year ago.

In Nevada, friends of the 36-year-old air conditioning specialist continue to post fliers and contact news media outlets to publicize Oxley's death in hopes the killer will be identified and prosecuted.

In the past year, Douglas County sheriff's investigators have sifted through nearly 1,000 leads and interviewed dozens of people in an effort to solve the crime.

Oxley was murdered Feb. 21, 2008, at his home on Wildhorse Lane. Deputies arrived at 3:30 a.m. and found him dead of a shotgun wound to the head. His wife and young daughter were at the residence as well as his wife's teenage brother who was living with the family.

The killer entered an unlocked door and shot Oxley as he slept.

"This was not a random act," said Sgt. Mark Munoz. "The manner in which Ben was killed was very personal."

Friends and family said they are mystified why Oxley was a target.

"The general consensus is that he was a likable man and nonconfrontational in his day-to-day actions. He was pleasant to work with," Munoz said.

Lead case agent Investigator Ron Elges said the case remains a top priority.

"It's a major part of our day," he said. "It's definitely got priority in this division."

Despite a Secret Witness reward that climbed as high as $33,500, someone has kept the secret of Oxley's killer for a year. The reward has dropped to $13,500 as the months passed.

"Somebody will eventually say something," Munoz said.

Elges urged anyone with information to call.

"There is no information that is insignificant," he said. "If you think you should have called six months ago, or a year ago, and you didn't, it's not too late."

Oxley's sister Ann Becker, who organized the memorial in Hawaii, said she grieves every day for her brother, one of 10 siblings.

"I want people to know this tragedy has changed so many lives," she said. "Ben was a huge part of the glue that held our family together. This was a senseless crime. It didn't have to happen. Somebody knows something and they need to come forward. This has torn our family apart."

Becker said her brother's daughter Alyssa, 7, and his former wife Dawn were attending the celebration from Carson Valley.

"We're expecting 150-200 people. We'll have a slide show, lots of flowers, Hawaiian food and dancers," Becker said.

After the memorial, she said the family would scatter her brother's ashes in a private ceremony at a place he loved as a boy.

"Time doesn't heal the hurt," Becker said. "It gets a little easier. I don't know how somebody could carry around a secret like this. It's just unbelievable that nobody has come forward."

Becker said she is prepared to forgive whoever took her brother's life.

"I'm a Christian. I can't live my life with resentment. Ultimately, they are going to meet their maker," she said. "I plan to be there on sentencing day when they catch this person so I can say, 'I forgive you, but you need to know how you hurt us.'"

Ben Oxley's friend Cindy Graham sends fliers every week to People Magazine, Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Phil McGraw, "America's Most Wanted" and other media outlets, hoping someone will take an interest in the story.

"I am not going to stop until somebody gets arrested for killing Ben," she said. "Somebody has to pay for what they've done."

Graham said it hurts when she and her husband Scott run into acquaintances who don't know Oxley died.

"People will say, 'How's Ben?,' or, 'We haven't seen Ben in awhile.' When Ben died, it was like we lost a child even though Ben was our own age. He was everything to us. My husband is just lost."

Scott Graham took Alyssa with his daughter to the annual father-daughter dance at the Douglas County Fairgrounds on Feb. 7.

Alyssa attended the pre-Valentine's Day event with her father last year. It was their last outing.

"It was good for Alyssa. She really wanted to go and they all had a good time. They had their moment at the end. The very last song was 'Butterfly Kisses.' That was Ben and Alyssa's song. Alyssa danced with Scott and they both cried."