David Jason Woellner had a way of bringing people together whether it was dinner guests, patrons of restaurants where he worked as a chef, or in the last hours of his life as those close to him gathered to say good-bye.
"He was a catalyst," said his wife, Deena Woellner. "Every socio-economic class - from the well-to-do to people with little or nothing - he brought them together."
Woellner, 38, died Sept. 27 at his Indian Hills home of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease.
"In the last days of his life, his wife, ex-wife and two ex-girlfriends were by his bed," she said. "The last four days - Thursday through Sunday - this house was full of friends and family food, booze, story-telling, laughter and tears. That's the way he wanted it."
Last week, Woellner's mother Brooke, Deena Woellner, ex-wife Colleen Butler and 14-year-old daughter Katie met at Brooke Woellner's home in Genoa to talk about the man who believed until the end he would overcome the incurable illness.
Jason was diagnosed with the neurodegenerative disease almost two years ago, and was forced to quit work as a sous chef in May 2008 when he became what Deena called "a falling hazard."
He had loved to cook from his early teens, and worked at several restaurants in Carson Valley and Carson City, ending up at the Station Grille 14 years ago.
"He was always cooking, eating or thinking about food," Deena said. "That seemed to just be his passion."
As the ALS robbed Jason of more independence, he ordered a case of Girl Scout thin mints from eBay to satisfy his craving and taught Deena how to make sushi when he could no longer cook.
A few days before Jason died, he was thinking about going to the Genoa Candy Dance, an annual tradition from his boyhood. He had recently attended the Boys and Girls Club barbecue in Carson City, and had plans to attend his own fundraiser at the Governor's Mansion.
Deena said she noticed a change in his breathing on Sept. 22, a Tuesday. The next day, Wednesday, Brooke spent with her son as she did every week.
He had difficulty being transferred from bed to his wheelchair and trouble using the head control on his computer.
He asked Deena to call his mother on Thursday. The hospice nurse told Jason and the family he didn't have much time left.
Word spread and friends gathered by his bedside.
Deena said she left Friday to run an errand and Jason was very agitated at her absence and wanted to be put in his chair where he sat for about an hour before returning to bed.
On Saturday, he slept most of the day.
"I talked to him constantly," Deena said. "Friends would come in and out of the room to see him and whenever there was just some idle time, I would sit and hold his hand. I got a couple of hand squeezes."
"He tried to vocalize something to me on Thursday, but nobody could figure it out," Katie said.
After spending most of Saturday with her father, Katie went home to Carson City with her mother Colleen.
He died in the presence of his mother and wife.
"He waited until everyone left," Brooke Woellner said. "Deena was curled up next to him in bed, her head on his chest, and I was holding his hand. It was very peaceful."
Colleen woke Katie with the news Sunday that her father had died.
"He just took his last breath and that was that," said Colleen.
The family expressed gratitude to ALS of Nevada for providing support as they navigated the maze of doctors and prescriptions, trips to the Bay Area for treatment, providing equipment so Woellner could communicate via computer.
"It's the advocates who helped us so very much," Brooke Woellner said.
They waited an agonizing eight months for delivery of a customized wheelchair, and ALS loaned equipment to give Woellner some independence.
He was treated at the Forbes Norris ALS/MDA Research Center in San Francisco and underwent testing at Emory ALS Center in Atlanta.
"Jason said to me, 'If I have a legacy, it's I hope I can take this to my grave so nobody else has to have it, or I want to teach people about it,'" his mother said.
He participated in drug trials and genetic testing.
"He said it was too late for him, but hoped it would help his daughter and his cousins," Brooke Woellner said.
The family decided to go ahead with "Jammin' for Jason" Thursday to help with expenses incurred over the two years of Jason's illness.
The Woellners exhausted their savings and still have outstanding bills. They were covered by Medicare, but Jason had no life insurance.
Deena lost her job in November 2008, but that was somewhat of a blessing as it freed her full-time to be her husband's primary caretaker.
She shared that responsibility with Brooke, Katie, hospice workers and friends.
"When he had to stop working, it was a big blow," Deena said. "His main concern was that he wouldn't be able to provide for us."
Jason went so far as to box up his Star Wars collection to sell for college money for Katie, a freshman at Carson High School.
"In his mind, he was going to win, he was going to beat it," Colleen Butler said.
Jason was determined to learn all he could about ALS.
"He was an avid learner," Deena said. "I had a hard time. I didn't want to see forward, but it gave him ammunition to say, 'Let's get through today.'"
The Woellners credited Forbes Norris and ALS of Nevada for supporting families dealing with ALS.
"You know it's a death sentence, and they give you everything they know about the disease," Brooke said.
Over the course of her father's illness, Katie found herself with four parents: her mother and father, and stepmother and stepfather.
Jason and Deena sat down with Katie's mom Colleen and stepdad John Butler to plan how they would handle the illness with Katie.
"One thing you've got to know is Katie is Jason and Jason is her. We were four co-parents for this amazing chick," Deena said. "We were all on the same page with Jason, and it took a huge weight off him."
Katie said she wanted to know what was going on.
"I didn't really understand it at the beginning, and it got pretty hard, but I never cried in front of him," she said.
Colleen said after Jason lost his ability to speak, he and Katie could communicate with just a look or smile.
"We're making sure he will always be a part of her," Colleen said.
"There wasn't anybody in the world he didn't care about," Katie said. "He was a really good dad."
She is comforted knowing how much her father loved her, and how his battle with ALS inspired others, including soldiers in Iraq who sent him a flag.
"They told him that his battle was harder than theirs, that he fought it 24 hours a day, seven days a week," Katie said.
