In high school, Santa Claus was an awkward, bespectacled bungler in love with the snottiest girl in school, according to Minden Elementary sixth-grade teacher Dawn Caldwell-Rothfusz's annual Christmas play.
In the 21st year of the tradition, Caldwell-Rothfusz penned "Memories," starring an aged Santa and Mrs. Claus (Andrew Tuell and Kali Lampshire) reminiscing about how they met in high school. The play premiered on Monday.
"I don't remember much about high school and dating," Santa admitted during the first scene.
"I bet you remember Veronica!" cried Mrs. Claus.
Scene by scene, members of the audience were led into the couple's complicated past. In a science class long ago, a young Santa Claus (Corbin Saucedo) was smitten with a pretty but mean-spirited girl named Veronica (Hannah Buckingham). In fact, Santa had pushed away his best friend Fred (Flavi Lopez) so that Veronica might sit by him.
Disaster-prone as he was, however, Santa ended up spilling his science experiment onto the object of his affection.
"She's just having a bad day," he told his friends as Veronica stormed off in a rage.
One friend pointed out that Clara, a shy and much nicer girl in their class, kept looking at Santa with bright, adoring eyes.
The narrative then jumped to the high school dance later that night where the evil Biff (Brandon Thielmann) and his minions had cornered poor Clara. Biff was determined to dance with Clara despite her clear objections.
"I'll wait by the door," he threatened.
When Veronica entered with her likewise snobby friend Tanya (Annalisa Neal), Santa and Fred were ecstatic.
"You guys are hopeless," their friends told them.
After a brief argument, Tanya decided to break ties with her cruel friend and asked Fred to dance, who fainted at the request. Then it was Santa's turn. He asked Veronica to join him on the dance floor.
"I guess," she sneered. "There's no one else to dance with."
Of course, the young Santa fell victim, literally, to another mishap, tripping over himself and pulling down Veronica in the process.
"I knew dancing with you would be a disaster!" she screamed. "I'd be better off dancing with a monkey!"
Prostrate and broken, Santa was helped to his feet by none other than Clara.
"He finally sees the light," the crowd proclaimed.
But the battle wasn't finished. Clara was wrestled away by the intractable Biff. As the band played "Rescue Me," she looked longingly toward Santa, who was summoning all his courage for a fight. Fortunately, school administrators busted Biff for water-balloon contraband, and he was escorted off campus. Santa and Clara were finally alone, and just in time for a slow dance.
"This is certainly a dance for memories," remarked an elf band member.
"I can't believe I never noticed you before," Santa told his new beloved.
"I can't believe you never noticed me either," she responded.
The last scene showed Santa and Clara as husband and wife.
"You know what my favorite memory is?" Mrs. Claus asked.
"Our wedding song," Santa answered
And so the venerable couple danced to "Don't go breaking my heart."
