Driven to volunteer: Even caregivers need respite

Sometimes I wonder if anyone other than me reads those little items in the Nevada Appeal about calls for volunteer service. I did and I do, and I now volunteer for RSVP - I drive people to appointments or for shopping or to the Senior Center or to Reno.

I think Appeal readers might like to find what it's like to be a member of the Retired Seniors Volunteer Program. RSVP is a national organization built on the principle of helping those who have done their work, are retired or disabled and now need a lift. Let me tell you about a couple of my experiences. (Names have been changed for obvious reasons.)

I volunteer in two categories: Driver and Respite giver. Driver is obvious, but Respite means going to someone's home where a caregiver is helping someone 24 hours a day and occasionally needs a break of three or four or five hours to live a life partially free of worry.

Helga and Theo are a couple in their senior days. Theo has a mild case of dementia but is easy to talk to, even if his answers sometimes are a bit fuzzy. Helga goes off to her five hours of freedom, leaving me to take Theo out to lunch at the Nugget Casino. There he is known, and his special waitress takes care of him.

To get to the Nugget, I am not allowed to drive him; I have to be able to devote all my attention to his welfare. So RSVP arranges for a driver to take us and bring us back.

Theo orders a waffle and a meat patty but needs encouragement to eat. He's been here many times and enjoys the setting. He pays for our lunch and leaves a tip for his favorite waitress.

At first, I wasn't sure what Theo wanted to do four our five hours - lunch, yes, but then what? Turns out he doesn't want to discuss politics or art or films or TV. Nor does he want to nap. He does like to make comments about the mountains and to ask where I am from.

What he really wanted to do was walk the neighborhood. He walks with a cane, and I have to be ready to help if he missteps (he has weakened a bit as he has aged). So we walk closely together, just as we do when we walk through the Nugget to the Coffee Shop, where he holds my shoulder.

After the walk Theo is happy to sit in the sun (his patio looks out on the mountains) and occasionally ask me a question or remark on something. My time with Theo is not intellectual in any way, but I sense that he, despite his mental problem, is aware of me and would like to chat. But it's a little much for him.

Toward the end of the five hours, he begins so worry about Helga - "Where is she? Is she safe? It's dangerous out there." I reassure him, and soon Helga is home. She usually brings me some cookies.

It's a kind of prep course for what I may be facing one of these days.

The Driver side is usually pretty simple - pick up a client, take to a destination, stop off en route back for various errands. In theory, that is.

Recently, RSVP called and asked me to make an emergency run to Reno with a client, using my car. (I usually have the option of driving a RSVP car, but they were all in use.) I picked up Sarah on the south side of town and drove to the address on the assignment clip: 1020 N. Wells St. I drove around for an hour looking for 1020, but it didn't exist. And my client Sarah had suffered a stroke and couldn't help me find the place. So I stumbled on a senior center and outlined my problem. The information woman there figured out where the client should be going, and called and confirmed the appointment. It was 25 blocks from the furnished address. We got there just in time for Sarah's dental appointment.

Frustrating, yes - for me, but more so for her. I would do it again if need be - but with hopes that I would have the right address.

It's an educational experience, Driver and Respite agent. It helps keep me aware of how fortunate I am in my good health (except for my aching back!). It helps me stay aware of the needs of many of my fellow citizens. And, who knows, I might just meet the lady of my life.

Drive, anyone?

• Sam Bauman of Carson City is a frequent contributor to the Nevada Appeal.