The Popcorn Stand: Nickelback not as bad as MacArthur Park

As an old fuddy, duddy, I can tell you I’ve heard of the band Nickelback. I couldn’t name one Nickelback song, although if I heard a Nickelback song somewhere, I’d probably recognize the tune.

I do know, for some reason, over the years Nickelback has become a band who people love to hate on. And now it’s gotten so bad for Nickelback, their music is now apparently a punishment for drunk driving.

Apparently the Kensington Police Service in Canada is forcing those who are caught drinking and driving to listen to Nickelback while they’re in the squad car.

If you really want to punish someone for drunk driving — or anything else for that matter — make them listen to MacArthur Park. The entire version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRwYQgk05DY.

I know the song is supposed to be about symbolism and all that. But come on. So what? You left a cake out in the rain. I know you can’t take it and it took you so long to bake it and you’ll never have that recipe again. But it’s a STUPID CAKE!

Although about two-thirds way through the song there’s actually a pretty cool musical riff that sounds totally out of place, but it’s still pretty cool.

The Generation X version of MacArthur Park is a Deep Blue Something song called “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” in which apparently some couple, maybe watched the movie and maybe they sort of liked it and that’s why they should get together.

Another song I could punish people with is the theme from the movie, “The Sting.” Great movie by the way. When I was a kid, it seemed everyone learning how to play the piano mangled that stupid song.

Or I would force someone to watch Starship’s video “We Built This City” or the video of David Bowie and Mick Jagger singing “Dancing In The Street.” As Peter Griffin from “Family Guy” said about that video, “That happened and we let it happen.”

Of course if I wanted to reward someone I would show them U2’s “Streets With No Name” video where they performed the song in Los Angeles.

And then there’s the woman who actually called the police on someone who wouldn’t stop whistling Semisonic’s song “Closing Time.” So I listened to about 15 to 20 seconds of that song and while I think the woman was a little extreme, I couldn’t halfway blame her.

So maybe Nickelback isn’t all that bad although I wouldn’t know.

— Charles Whisnand