The Popcorn Stand: You’ll never get cheated with this Cheeto

OK, my obsession with Cheetos continues. I love Cheetos despite the annoying orange stains I can never get off my fingers. (OK, I could wash my hands, but that’s too much work.)

A while back I wrote about the Cheeto that looked like the deceased gorilla from the Cincinnati Zoo, Harambe, that apparently sold for nearly $100,000, which I still don’t believe. But now the Cheeto snake lives.

There’s the saying winners never quit and quitters never win. Well, apparently Cheetos never quit.

Jessica Rupie has posted a photo of what appears to be the longest Cheeto ever. No word if it’s going to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest Cheeto. Rupie bought a bag of Cheetos and found the extra long Cheeto which can be found here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/really-long-cheeto_us_58e295f1e4b03a26a364fbb9?section=us_weird-news.

The huge Cheeto is actually made up of a few Cheetos that managed to stick together. So Cheetos is also apparently trying to give a new meaning to the term “This is a stick up.”

Cheetos that are about twice as large as the normal-sized Cheeto would actually be just fine with me. The same amount of Cheeto goodness, but less Cheetos, so theoretically less orange on my fingers. I’m always thinking about what would make our lives better and for the betterment of mankind in general.

I also have an idea for a marketing campaign for Cheetos. Chester Cheetah isn’t all that original anymore. I suggest he be replaced by Cheeto the Kid, so of course we can all say Cheeto the Kid is a friend of mine.

Regardless, as far as I’m concerned, you never get cheated with Cheetos.

— Charles Whisnand