The Popcorn Stand: Monopoly goes to the birds

I don’t think I’ve ever played an entire game of Monopoly in my life (doesn’t it take like hours to play one game of Monopoly?), so this news isn’t as upsetting to me as it may be to other people.

There’s a tremendous shakeup to the Monopoly board. Hasbro announced Friday the new tokens to be used in the game based on the results of an online survey.

The boot, thimble and wheelbarrow are gone and are replaced by T-rex, penguin and rubber ducky.

Actually I could kind of understand the boot, thimble and wheelbarrow because you know you can amass a boot, thimble or wheelbarrow load of money. Was a boat ever a token in monopoly because, you know, a boatload of money? But the discarded tokens were considered to be too old-fashioned so now the complete lineup of tokens are a Scottie dog (you can never go wrong with a Scottie dog), top hat, car, battleship (battleship? Isn’t that another game), T-rex, rubber ducky and penguin.

And the results are: Goodbye, thimble, boot and wheelbarrow. Hello, T-rex, penguin and rubber ducky. The new tokens will debut in the fall.

I was actually more intrigued with the tokens that didn’t make the cut: They included a chicken (I would’ve preferred a banana slug); a computer (boy, Hasbro is really trying to keep up with the times); and a fish (what are we going to swim to riches?).

One of the most balley-hood tokens that didn’t make the cut was an emoji, which to this old fuddy, duddy is just a fancy name for sticker.

For those Monopoly fans when it comes to the new tokens, I hope they didn’t get sticker shock.

— Charles Whisnand