The Popcorn Stand: Stick a ‘frork’ in it

I don’t know if this is real or what and if this means the end of civilization as we know it.

In our society we have spoons, forks, knives and sporks. I thought the spork, which is supposed to be the combination of a fork and a spoon, was bad enough. I never liked the spork. I thought a spoon was just fine if a fork didn’t do the job.

But now McDonalds, remember the company that gave us the breakthrough straw in which you could drink your Shamrock Shake with ease, has now apparently given us the frork. But again, I really don’t know if this is real or not.

And McDonalds apparently hired that annoying TV pitchman Anthony Sullivan to get the word out about its new device. You can watch the video here http://www.mcdfrork.com. The purpose of this new device if it actually exists is to deal with all the new McDonalds sandwiches that are going to be so packed with toppings, some of the toppings are bound to fall off.

That’s where the frork comes in. From what I gather watching the video, the frork basically has three tines that are actual french fries as far as I can tell. And after I watched the video, I concluded the frork doesn’t work all that well as it really didn’t pick up much of the toppings that fell onto the plate.

And the frork seems to be a pain in the you-know-what to me because of course you’re going to eat the three fries when you pick up the toppings, which means you have to reload the frork with three fries every time you use it.

Sullivan did say something about the fork being ambidextrous-ish, which reminded me of the NBA player who tried to say one time he could use both hands by saying he was “amphibious.”

And of course with Sullivan there was something about the first 100 callers getting a free sandwich and a free frork.

I eat a lot of stuff in which toppings fall off from tacos to hamburgers and my fork and even my hands work just fine.

So when it comes to McDonalds latest apparent innovation, it’s a frork in the road I can do without. And I will not heed Yogi Berra’s advice, I will not take it.

— Charles Whisnand