The Popcorn Stand: What comes first the chicken or the log?

I know it’s waaaay too late to be talking about Christmas gifts during the homestretch of the HalloThanksMas season but this one takes the cake. Or the chicken.

And I’m already too late when writing about this. Kentucky Fried Chicken has been selling fire logs that smell like its fried chicken. The KFC 11 Herbs and Spices Firelog was available for $18.99 while supplies lasted. I can’t imagine there were a lot of people out there who want to cozy up to a fire that smells like chicken. But then again in the immortal words of Joaquin Andujar: “Ju never know.”

To my astonishment I read the KFC firelog sold out in a matter of hours.

I don’t think it would be too romantic for a couple to cozy up next to a fire that smells like chicken. Now if Ghirardelli comes up with firelogs that smell like its chocolate I think the company would be onto something, although of course there would be the danger of then craving for chocolate.

So KFC has actually come up with a pretty good idea to try to get people to crave its chicken. Although silly me, I don’t have a fireplace, but if I did and I bought a firelog, I would like to smell like, you know, wood. But what do I know.

And KFC has likened its 11 Herbs and Spices Fire Log to man landing on the moon or something or other.

When it comes to fire KFC has stated about its firelog “All of that experimentation, all of that innovation, has culminated in this event.” All we need now is NFL Films to do a production on KFC’s firelog with John Facenda narrating lines like that.

To KFC this is apparently one small herbs and spices for man, one giant firelog for mankind. So right up there with the invention of the light bulb, the automobile and the internet is the KFC firelog.

Although KFC also had to offer the following disclaimer: “Please don’t put face directly into fire in attempt to smell fried chicken.”

OK, I’m done with the Popcorn Stand. I think I’m going to have KFC for lunch. I wonder why?

— Charles Whisnand