Guy W. Farmer: An evening with the Clintons

News flash for Democrats: Hillary Clinton wants to run for president yet again in 2020. Her announcement will generate fear and loathing in the hearts of “progressives” and Democratic Socialists while Republicans will pray for another Clinton candidacy. One thing is certain: Bill and Hillary Clinton will always be with us ... perhaps forever.

Shortly before the Nov. 6 midterms, the Clintons advertised a 13-city tour of an event called “An Evening with President Bill Clinton and Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton.” Their geriatric tour starts on Sunday in Las Vegas (where else?). You can buy a cheap seat for $50, but most diehard Clinton fans will want to shell out $375 for VIP seats. The proceeds will go to the Clintons, not to charity. As always with Clinton, Inc., it’s all about the money.

Before the midterms, when most Democrats were focused on defeating Republicans, Hillary Clinton showed up on television to promote a new afterword to her campaign memoir, “What Happened?” I’ll answer her question: You were such an awful presidential candidate you managed to lose to filthy rich, egocentric New York real estate developer Donald J. Trump, another horrible candidate and hateful person in his own right. And now we’re stuck with him for the next two years.

In one TV interview, Mrs. Clinton said her husband’s affair with young White House intern Monica Lewinsky in the 1990s didn’t constitute an abuse of power because Ms. Lewinsky was “an adult.” Her politically incorrect comment was greeted by a loud collective groan from feminists. Some MeToo feminists told Mrs. Clinton to shut up, politely, of course.

As Annie Karni wrote on the Politico website, “There’s no sign that Mrs. Clinton intends to give up the spotlight after the midterms, when Democrats begin the process of choosing a 2020 nominee and when a pre-existing relationship with the Clintons is widely seen as a vulnerability.” Don’t tell that to the Clintons, however, because they’ll be busy promoting their money-making tour. So, as possible 2020 Democrat presidential candidates (including Hillary?) start campaigning, they’ll run into the Clintons wherever they go. Hillary will still be asking, “What happened?” and hogging the spotlight.

Sponsors of the Clintons’ tour say it “will feature joint on-stage conversations with the two leaders sharing stories and inspiring anecdotes that shaped their historic careers in public service.” I can hardly wait for those inspiring anecdotes. Or, as the neoconservative Weekly Standard put it, “Sounds like a rollicking good time, huh?” Not really.

I wonder if Hillary will ask Bill about Monica Lewinsky and his subsequent impeachment or if Bill will ask Hillary about Benghazi and deleted emails. Probably not, but we can always hope for moments of candor between a proven liar and an alleged feminist icon who trashed the women her husband groped. Now that would be “a rollicking good time,” but it’s not going to happen. Instead, Bill and Hillary will tell each other how wonderful they are, how much they love each other and how fortunate they are to have profited so handsomely from their “public service.”

The Clintons claimed to be broke when they left the White House, but they’re living “high on the hog” (as my Tennessee relatives would say) these days. “How many cons will the Clintons inflict on America — the massive unreadable memoirs that fetch million-dollar advances, the high-dollar commencement addresses — before their fans realize they’re being swindled to support this obnoxious pair’s globetrotting lifestyle?” the Weekly Standard asked. Answer: “A few more, we gather.”

Well, as P.T. Barnum once said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” Unfortunately, he was right.

Guy W. Farmer is the Appeal’s senior political columnist.