Kelly Madigan: Life on the front porch

Consider this ... and perhaps smile.

“Life on the front porch”

On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of 20 years.”

The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I’ll will give you back the other 10?”

And God said that was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks and make them laugh. For this I will give you a 20-year life span.”

The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for 20 years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?”

And God again said that was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long, and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this I will give you a life span of 60 years.”

The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20, and I’ll give you back the other 40?” And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you 20 years.”

But the human said, “Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back and the 10 the dog gave back; that makes 80, OK?”

“OK,” said God. “You asked for it.”

So that’s why for our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you. There’s no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it as a public service. If you’re looking for me, I’ll be on the front porch.

Kelly Madigan is a resident of Carson City.